Sigh...Day 9

Maybe it's because I keep looking at myself in the mirror but I am just really getting discouraged with the swelling. I finally found two other bloggers who underwent jaw surgery that had this same "monkey-like" swelling. One girl called it "orangutan" swelling. So while I'm incredibly relieved, one girl woke up on day 9 of her recovery to find that it was gone (so that's apparently not going to be me) and the other girl still had that swelling for much longer. So that leaves me feeling a little crappy since day 9 is obviously not a magic day for me and the other person struggled with it so much longer. Sigh....I. hate. my. face. Right now anyway. I know, I know, I just had surgery and I need to be patient but it's hard! I went through an 8 hour surgery and I'm still pushing through a challenging recovery, can I at least not look like a chimp!? Geez. I wish someone could tell me when this will get better. I'm tired of hearing "in time" or "any day" I just want to know! At least I'd be able to look forward to it. I want to be able to go outside for a walk without feeling like a side show exhibit. I know I'm doing it to myself but I'm starting to feel like a prisoner in my home alllll day cause I can't get up the guts to walk outside. I noticed that both girls refrained from posting recovery pictures until the swelling  went down whereas others would post from day one. So it's not just me. I feel SO hideous and it's really, really getting to me. WHEN will this get better!? I can deal with swelling, I knew it was part of all this but I never expected to look this way. I'm extremely bummed. What can I do? A friend recommended using arnica (an herb) to reduce swelling and I was so excited to try it but of course, I can't find it anywhere. Awesome. Putting on makeup wouldn't even make me feel better because I look so ridiculous I think it would just make me look worse.

My face still feels very numb all around my mouth area. That's not so bad to deal with. Smiling is hard and brushing my teeth is painful. It was a lot easier to put on the rubber bands on my second try today so that was pretty encouraging. My skin is pretty shiny which I learned is a result of the swelling making your skin stretch. So when you go back to normal your skin peels (on the plus side, you get a new layer of skin which is not too shabby).  Another great thing is that the surgeon mistakenly thought my cold sore was dry skin and peeled it off! At first I thought, great, now it's gonna come back in full force. But it hasn't! So one ugly, uncomfortable thing off the checklist. My mom is coming to help with dinner tonight (nope, not for me, for the HH and BB) and I am considering going for a walk when it's gotten a little darker out, maybe it will make me feel more comfortable. All my neighbors know me though so it's tough. Even if they asked I couldn't explain what's going on cause my mouth is banded shut so... Just trying to keep on keepin' on here....Hope you are all having a better day. (My post from Day 7 erased for some reason. I googled it and there is a way to recover it but I'm so not a techie so....bummer cause it was the post with my herb garden photo haha)