Choose Positivity. Grin and Bear It.

I kept my baby home with me today (instead of having my mother in law watch him) because I will be going back to work this week ( I still can't believe it!! ). I felt bad not spending extra time with him when I can and I knew I would regret it if I didn't. It wasn't too bad (in terms of me being physically exhausted because time spent with my son is always happy) until nap time. He fights his nap like no other. I took him for a walk in the stroller to get him to sleep since it's the safest way for me to do so. If I hold him I risk him head butting me or something. I walked for an hour in the hot sun, sweating and getting super exhausted. He STILL wasn't asleep. It was such a nice quiet walk too! So he proceeds to refuse to get out of the stroller when I pulled up to our house and then he started screaming. Of course neighbors were out and about, so I walked again, super thirsty and incredibly weak. Twenty minutes later he was finally asleep. He only slept an hour then woke up crabby. I held him in the recliner and he went back to sleep for another hour and we both got super sweaty. He STILL woke up crabby. I was so exhausted, I felt like all I could do was stare when he wanted to play. It was tough. It's always such a surprise when my body reminds me that I'm not quite "back to normal". I was in zombie mode. In the evening my wonderful friend came by with her yummy rainbow jello!! It's beautiful AND delicious and it's all for me. Her daughter was so sweet to Jabin and he had so much fun with her. I was grateful for the company, conversation, and the break for my son from his boring, tired mama.
For some reason my tongue is incredibly sore on the right side and it got progressively worse all day long. To the point when swallowing was so painful, it would make me cringe. Talking and eating are super painful too. Why is it always something!?!? I couldn't even finish my precious lemon chicken soup from Corner Bakery. I tried to drink an Ensure just to get full, nope. My guess is that the GIGANTIC splint is smashing my tongue on that side, probably did all through the night. Anyway, I'm getting more feeling back here and there. Tingly feelings but still progress. The swelling is better and I'm praying that when this splint comes out tomorrow (HALLELUJAH!) it will improve even more. I want to smash that thing to smithereens with a hammer. I dream about being able to get my teeth professionally cleaned and getting these braces off FOREVER. Apparently teeth move very quickly in response to orthodontic treatment after surgery so I'm hoping for no more than 6 months tops to be braces free. I hope that's not too optimistic. Even though I know I'd have to wear a retainer afterwards, I'm excited. The day when I don't have to have ANY appliance in my mouth will be cause for a celebration to rival Mardi Gras but until then, I'm looking forward to getting all this freakin' metal out of my mouth! I'm SO sick of it all. This has been such a looooong road (almost 6 years!!!!), but one that I think was divinely ordained to build character. I hope I was a good and responsive student! :-/ I've read so many blogs where people write that they are happy, grateful and have no regrets after their jaw surgeries. I'm holding on to that. I have regular contact with a sweet girl who I think is about 1-2 years post op and very happy. She is an extension of my support group (my family), one that understands in a way they can't and it's incredibly helpful and encouraging. This is all just part of my journey and as difficult as it is, it's also easy. Because at the end of the day, it could be SO much worse.

This picture does not do it justice...yummers!