My plans once I recover enough to be able to eat normally and exercise without restrictions is to rebuild the muscle I once had and hopefully even more. (HH and I also plan to run the Long Beach Half Marathon in October! My second time, his first) I know it will take time and discipline but I'm excited about those new challenges. One beneficial thing that has come as a result of my recovery process that will aid me in this endeavor is the realization that food is fuel. I've heard this statement before of course, and I understand it, but I have never been forced to really see food in this way. I eat what I like, in moderation of course but I've always enjoyed eating as a pastime activity not just as a means to an end. But, I get it now! It just shows me that I CAN have willpower and that food can help you reach your goals while you enjoy it. It should never become a crutch. Especially considering that I have been told I have pre-diabetes. No bueno... On that note, yesterday was Cinco De Mayo and I came into work with plans to have oatmeal and two pieces of toast (dipped into decaf coffee of course). Buuuuut there were boxes and boxes of pan dulce and donuts and cake....UGH. Once I start working out, I will resist these things and stick to the plan....most of the time!
I have officially been given the ok to exercise and life weights with a couple restrictions: no clenching of teeth and no bouncing, jarring activities (i.e. running). I am thinking that I should start waking up early again and either going to the gym that I've been paying for or starting at home with basic moves and no weights. The only difficulty is that I am still underweight. So, add exercise for my sanity and emotional well-being despite not "needing"it (in terms of weight loss) or continue this post-op sedentary lifestyle that is a drag on my sense of self? Feel free to chime in peeps. I can't decide.
On the post-op front, my surgeon and ortho are both happy with the progress and I am now seeing them less frequently. Eating is still not "normal" because chewing feels weird when you can't really feel your teeth and pasta is pretty much the only thing I can chew. But I doing all my new facial/jaw exercises and I see improvement. Now that I can feel the gums on my upper jaw a bit better, I can feel that the splint really digs in and is a little irritating and I have a lisp because of it as well. Nothing new since I used to wear a bite plate but I have several job interviews this month and I hope I won't come off badly because of it. My interview today is all the way in West L.A. and although the location is NOT ideal, it would be a little exciting because the area looks cool. Getting there is the problem. BUT it's with DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services) and it would be amazing to get my foot in the door there. Wish me luck!
On the mom/wife front...it is SO important to get some "me time" in on a daily basis. At least for me. I will go days without making time for it and then I end up feeling so overwhelmed that I want to blame someone for my frustrations. But really, it's me that is to blame. I put too many expectations on myself and neglect my own needs and then I fail at being the kind of mother and wife that I aspire to be. I'm trying to figure out how I can start my day with prayer/meditation/Bible time AND working out. Ideally I would like to eat some breakfast before I have to start rushing too and now you see my tendency to start making a simple solutions impossible. If I wake up at 4am....
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